I often end up fighting with my mom when she asks me to not step out late at night, to not go on road trips alone with girls. I ask her difficult questions as to why I am not allowed to do this whereas guys can do the same thing. Ofcourse I know the answer but I still probe her. I understand it’s for my safety but I don’t want to understand it anymore.
Why am I supposed to not go out because the world is unsafe for me? Because some creep lurks behind the shadows and might attack me? Why cannot something be done about that creep?
And the worst part? My parents think I can be independent, i can be safe from all harm in the world after getting married, because they think having a man in my life is going to protect me from all the lurkers in the world. Women are to be passed around from possession of one man to another, from father to husband, to take care of them, to stop them from being independent. But the same men cannot be taught how to make the world a better place for us.
I am fed up of begging for my independence, to be called a rebel for asking what is rightfully mine, to demand to live in a safe place where I can freely roam around without a pepper spray. I feel that the term independence was only coined for men of our society, because thanks to them, girls can never truly be independent.
“Why cannot something be done about that creep?” lends itself to a larger question — one that I’ve spent most of my life asking with the same kind of frustration you face. Why do YOU have to accommodate the problem rather than a culture addressing it?
As I wrote long ago:
“It never ceases to amaze me that companies coddle people who epitomize the lowest common denominator. Rather than inspire them to rise to standards set by others, the meticulous are asked to accommodate the careless. On top of all that, there seems to be a universal rolodex of excuses that gets spun to absolve those in question.”
That lifelong battle with companies is exactly the same fight against society itself. I’m the good guy in the story, but I’m treated like the bad guy. I’m the guy who won’t compromise what’s right (fighting against people who do nothing but compromise the truth to get their way).
On TV and in the movies, America loves characters who stand for the right thing at great risk. But in real life, they despise those people — and will even try to ruin them to protect their own interests.
I know that none of this helps your situation. But for whatever it’s worth, I can relate to your willingness to ask questions that so few will.
Wish I had something more helpful to offer.
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Thank you for your kind words. I agree that ultimately we only have to step up and just do our thing, and not worry about the consequences. It’s just talking to your loved ones, who care for your safety, renders me speechless.
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Simple yet strong n righteous questions but will these questions be cared by anyone in the nation for the sake of women and her right of living independently safely if she wish to? These questions remain same till n untill girls or women like you start thinking to become a change courageously. Be blessed ❤
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That’s true! I think we do try to become more independent and travel alone at night. But any bad news is bound to scare us or atleast our loved ones.
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“renders me speechless” — I had to laugh at that (especially since I can relate in different ways).
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